Today sucked. Plain and simple.
In order to make the long story about why today sucked make sense, you need some background information.
I am a full-time stay-at-home mom and part-time student. I'm working on my Masters in Teaching and part of my education consists of interning in a local elementary school. I haven't had to intern since fall, therefore I haven't had to deal with any childcare for Nug for awhile. Today was supposed to be my first day back at the school and I was planning to bring Nug back to the nanny that we used back in September.
Last night I was a mess. I was crying. I didn't want to go to school. I didn't want to leave Nug. I just felt horrible, uneasy, sad. Around 8 p.m. last night I got an email from the Nanny answering a question that I had about a tax form. I asked her for her tax i.d. number so I could finish filing out that 1099-misc to give to her this morning (we had previously agreed on this). She emailed me back and said "if you need to take the deduction, and it will help you financially..." WOW! I felt like she was totally belittling me for wanting to get the tax credit for childcare. It's 20%...of course I want the credit!
So, I emailed her back and reminded her of our original agreement. She emailed me back about 10 p.m. and said that she forget, but she wanted to talk to me and my husband about "next year's taxes" so to please give her a call. It's 10 p.m. at this point and I'm supposed to be bring Eva over at 8 a.m. today, so I find it a little weird that she's asking us to call her. I didn't even get her email until this morning.
After talking with my husband about the email, we both just felt uneasy. She's been doing weird things like calling us late on a Friday night to make sure we're still bringing Nug to her, asking us for letters of recommendation even though we've only used her for a few weeks, asking if her husband can watch Nug instead of her one day a week so she can go work for another family. Just weird stuff. And I'd been going along with it this whole time because I thought I was just being a sensitive first time mom.
Well, this morning, I just couldn't take it anymore. I just had a bad feeling about her and the whole situation. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking. I thought to myself "I can't drop my daughter off at this lady's house while I'm feeling like this!" So, the hubs called in sick and we planned to spend the day finding other arrangements for Nug during the day while I have to be at school.
My husband called the nanny this morning to explain to her that we were just feeling uneasy and that we wouldn't be taking Nug to her after all. Now, I understand that we gave her zero notice. But, what happened next I did not expect. To make a long story short, she got very nasty with us, making false accusations, demanding severance pay, telling us how she was "doing us a favor" by watching our daughter, and just being demeaning. It was horrible. My husband kept trying to explain to her that it was not a personal attack, but our daughter is our utmost priority and we have to trust our gut feeling when it comes to her well-being.
After hanging up, we felt so much better. We didn't enjoy the verbal attack, but we both knew we made the right decision. Then, the emails started pouring in. She was continuing her rant over email. Unbelievable. She just continued to confirm our suspicions that she is a crazy person! Now, I can't believe I took my daughter there in the first place :(
So, after much consideration today, we found a great child care facility down the street from our home. It's actually part of a retirement community (or nursing home, I suppose) which I think it awesome. They incorporate the children into some activities with the residents. It's a win-win for the children and for the residents. We got such a wonderful, warm feeling with the staff members and the facility and I think Nug will really enjoy it there (although I'd like to believe her favorite place to be is with her mama!).
Moral of the story: trust your gut! I wish I'd listened to my instincts earlier and avoided this whole mess. When it comes to being a mom, no one knows more about your child than you. You might not always be right, but it's your baby, and you have to be confident in your decision.
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